Why play pretend....it's right under my nose & I see it....

So what do I do?

Nothing...Absolutely nothing, because its my fault (it always is after all) & what else is there left to do?

I try, so help me God I try so hard sometimes...maybe that's my problem (I try not to ruffle too many feathers but it backfires in my face)

But to make it seem like i'm not doing anything to make it better (or to at least try) that breaks my heart....Because I do, more than ever... & When I try, I get nothing back

All I want is to see the rainbow again, I think thats not too much to ask for is it? Because I want to be happy & not feel alone too. I go through so much shit & cry myself to sleep sometimes because I don't know what is left to be done anymore. & that's not my weakness, it's my solitude.

Don't I even get a hint or a nudge as to which direction to take?

I'm sick & i'm tired...I'm sick & tired of having to prove myself to everybody or to be & behave the way they expect me to. Because I've tried that & it didnt work.

Right now, I just want to hibernate....that ought to do the trick.

Cause right now, to top everything else off I'm irresponsible too right & don't have my priorities in check!